


desire

by to-a-merrier-world (wayward_wolves)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breathplay, Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Dubious Consent, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Pining, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Pseudo-Incest, Sexual Content, V Poly Relationship, due to intoxication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-05-16 19:23:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19324519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_wolves/pseuds/to-a-merrier-world
Summary: At 18, Diego is in denial of what he wants.--At 25, Ben is long dead, but still burns with jealousy for what he can no longer have.--At 31, Klaus has no idea what he's doing.---A Ben/Klaus/Diego story told in 3 parts.





	1. the truth that you're denying

**Author's Note:**

> In case it wasn't clear from the tags, ben/klaus and diego/klaus are the romantic/sexual pairings for this fic. They are a triad, but ben/diego isn't romantic or sexual, only platonic.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy:)

**-Diego, 18-**

Diego startled awake and looked around his room in tense confusion, unsure of what had awoken him. Nothing was out of place in his room, and he was about to shrug it off and go back to sleep when something clattered to the ground in the room next to his.

Klaus’s room.

Well, that answered the question of what had woken him up. It didn’t, however, quell Diego’s curiosity. He knew it was probably just Klaus sneaking back in after a night of partying, but a part of him still wanted to make sure.

What if, just this once, it _wasn’t_ Klaus sneaking in, but someone else? Or what if Klaus needed help and Diego ignored it?

…What if Klaus wasn’t alone?

With that thought, Diego threw off his covers and quietly crept to his door. He grabbed one of his knives off his dresser along the way, holding it loosely in his hand, ready to let fly in a moment’s notice.

He eased the door open slowly and silently. His eyes darted around the darkened hall, on alert for even the slightest movement. When he saw nothing, he slipped through his door quickly and pulled it closed, but not quiet shut.

His ears were strained for even the smallest noise, so when he heard shuffling of multiple feet and hushed laughter, his stomach jumped and tightened.

On silent feet, he moved quickly towards Klaus’s door, hugging the wall as he went. He frowned when he saw that the door was already cracked open, letting just the faintest light from Klaus’s string lights stream into the hallway. He came to a stop right next to the door, straining his hearing and lifting his knife in anticipation.

Diego stiffened when he heard Klaus groan.

“God, yes,” Klaus hissed.

There was some rustling and another groan from Klaus, though it was cut off quickly with a hitched breath. There was quiet murmuring in a low voice that Diego strained to hear, but couldn’t make out.

Diego knew what he’d see if he looked. He’d see some stranger pressed against Klaus, making him moan and whimper. He’d see his brother, aroused and pink-cheeked and probably half naked already.

Heart racing in his chest and sweat gathering on his upper lip, Diego looked anyway.

He was barely able to suppress a gasp that threatened to expose him.

It wasn’t a stranger pressed against Klaus. It was Ben.

Diego stared, frozen in place as he watched Ben kiss Klaus, one hand clutching at Klaus’s bare back and the other wrapped firmly around his neck. Klaus was shirtless, wearing only a black miniskirt that Diego could remember Allison wearing last week and a pair of army surplus boots. Ben, however, was in sleep pants, a white undershirt, and bare feet.

The scene had Diego’s mind spinning. _When the hell had this started?_ he thought hysterically.

Diego shifted uncomfortably, his stomach tightening low in his abdomen as he watched Klaus’s tongue slip into Ben’s mouth, the wet sounds of their kiss filling the otherwise silent room.

After what felt like an eternity to Diego, the two finally separated. Ben’s hand slipped off of Klaus’s neck to rest on his chest as the two of them panted.

“You’re too loud,” Ben chided, kissing Klaus’s jaw in a way that lessened the bite of his words.

Klaus laughed, soft and breathy in a way that had Diego swallowing thickly.

“I can’t help it. You know I’m bad at hiding it when I like something.”

Ben hummed as he continued kissing along Klaus’s jaw, moving down to his neck. Klaus groaned again, louder than before, and Diego could tell from his expression that he’d done it to provoke Ben.

Ben pulled back, hand pressing against Klaus’s chest and holding him against the wall.

“Be _quiet_ , Klaus,” Ben said roughly.

Klaus’s grin was playfully challenging.

“Make me.”

Diego watched as a tense silence stretched out, holding his breath as the seconds ticked by and neither of them moved.

 _I should stop them_ , he thought. _I shouldn’t be watching this. I should leave._

But he couldn’t get his feet to move.

He wondered if it was disgusting that he was watching this, or disgusting that they were doing this. He wondered if either of those were even true, or if both of them were.

Finally, there was movement in the other room. Ben straightened and looked down at Klaus. Normally, Klaus was taller than Ben, but leaned back against the wall as he was, his hips jutting forward, Ben loomed over him.

Diego couldn’t see Ben’s face, but one moment Klaus was looking up at him with fake innocence and the next his eyes were widening in surprise.

Ben, moving quickly from years of fighting experience, grabbed ahold of Klaus and threw them both onto the bed. Diego could hear Klaus’s breath leave him in a huff as he made contact with the mattress. He watched, entire body thrumming with tension, as Ben settled on top of Klaus chest to chest.

Klaus grinned and opened his mouth, undoubtedly about to say something bratty or teasing, but before a sound could pass his lips Ben had a hand covering his mouth.

“I said be quiet, Klaus,” Ben rumbled lowly, and Diego could see Klaus shudder beneath him.

After a moment, Ben’s hand slipped from Klaus’s mouth and slowly wrapped around his throat. Klaus’s hips bucked up and he whimpered.

“You really like this, don’t you?” Ben whispered.

Klaus groaned, though it was quieter than before.

“Don’t you?” Ben asked again.

“Yes,” Klaus whispered, fingers digging into Ben’s legs.

“Good boy,” Ben hummed, and Klaus’s whole body tensed and then relaxed bonelessly against the mattress.

Ben leaned down and captured Klaus’s mouth in a slow, lingering kiss. After what felt like hours to Diego, Ben pulled away long enough to rid himself of his shirt before diving back in, the kiss growing more heated.

Seeing Ben’s bare back seemed to finally jolt Diego out of his frozen shock. He stumbled quickly away from Klaus’s room, his feet somehow managing to not make a sound. Heart lodged in his throat, Diego walked blindly back to his room and shut the door silently.

He stared at his door for a long moment, pulse thundering in his ears. Several minutes passed, and then he took a deep breath and looked down.

His stomach twisted at the sight of his erection bulging obscenely in his sleep pants.

Moving mechanically, he set his knife back on his dresser and crossed his room back to his bed. He crawled on top of the covers and laid there on his back, fists clenched at his sides.

It wasn’t that what he saw was arousing, he reasoned with himself. He was a teenager. Sometimes teens just got hard. Hell, he’d once gotten an erection while sparring with Luther, and he was _definitely_ not attracted to Luther.

It didn’t mean anything.

Diego dug his nails deeper into the palm of his hands.

When had Ben and Klaus…

He bit his lip. He didn’t want to think about it, but he wanted to know. How long had they been doing… that? It didn’t look like their first time. Not that Diego knew much about first times, not having had one himself, yet.

He couldn’t get Klaus’s expressions out of his mind. Especially when Ben had wrapped his hand around Klaus’s neck.

Was that normal? Did other people do that when they… together?

Diego flexed his fingers, finally forcing his hands to relax.

He wondered if Ben squeezed when he held Klaus by his neck. Klaus had said he’d liked it, and Diego wondered how he could like something like that. Diego wondered what else Klaus could like before swiftly shutting down that train of thought.

 _I don’t want to know_ , he told himself, even though his heart started racing anew at the mere thought.

He turned onto his side, arms wrapping around his waist. He stared at the wall separating his room and Klaus’s. He could picture what was happening on the other side in vivid detail, could imagine Ben kissing and touching Klaus and Klaus loving it.

He screwed his eyes shut and turned onto his other side.

 _I don’t want to know_ , he told himself again.

He could almost make himself believe it, too.


	2. i want you to want me again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! took way longer than i said, but here's chapter 2. 
> 
> no beta, as usual. hope y'all enjoy!

**-Ben, would have been 25-**

Ben followed after Klaus as he pushed the door to another bar open, Klaus humming under his breath happily. Klaus was bar hopping, and this was bar number three for him. Ben wondered, briefly, how he was able to be so energetic after all the alcohol he’d consumed.

Then again, Klaus had had a lot of practice over the years.

Ben scanned the room as Klaus practically skipped towards the bar. He wanted to be surprised by the number of people there on a Tuesday night, but after all the years he’d spent trailing Klaus, he really couldn’t be shocked by much anymore.

Tonight, however, was different. Ben stopped a few meters away from the bar and stared at a familiar face he hadn’t seen in years.

“Diego…” he whispered, watching his brother throw back the last of his drink and gesture for the bartender to make him another.

Klaus hadn’t noticed him yet, positioned at the other side of the bar and already flirting with an older woman who looked _very_ interested.

Ben hurried over and leaned close to Klaus’s ear, just to make sure he was heard.

“Klaus, Diego’s here.”

“What?” Klaus asked, jerking back and glancing at Ben.

“What?” the older woman across from him said, raising an eyebrow at Klaus.

Klaus wasn’t paying attention to her anymore, though, eyes scanning the bar quickly before landing on Diego.

“I’ll be damned…,” he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.

He pushed away from the bar, completely ignoring the woman’s confused protests.

Ben couldn’t help the mean grin he sent her, pleased that Klaus wouldn’t be going home with her tonight, and followed him towards Diego with a spring in his step.

“Goodness, what’s a boy like you doing in a place like this?” Klaus asked in a ridiculous fake accent, slipping onto the stool beside Diego.

Ben watched as Diego tensed before he finally realized who was next to him, his scowl morphing into surprise.

“Klaus?”

“The one and only,” Klaus said, giving a little bow before stealing Diego’s new drink and taking a sip.

“Hey,” Diego protested, but he didn’t reach to take the drink from Klaus’s grasp.

Ben grinned from his place behind Klaus’s shoulder. When Diego wasn’t being a jackass, he could be a real softie.

“But really,” Klaus said after he’d drained half the drink in one swallow. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in police training or whatever.”

Diego’s face did something complicated, simultaneously expressing surprise, anger, and something that looked a lot like grief.

“How’d you know about that?” Diego asked gruffly, turning away from Klaus and gesturing towards the bartender for another drink.

Klaus hummed, taking a sip of his stolen drink. “I ran out of money and crashed at the Academy. Mom told me. She was very excited for you.”

Ben watched as Diego hunched forward and he suddenly got a sinking feeling in his stomach, despite no longer having a physical one.

Diego stayed quiet for a long moment, long enough for the bartender to come back with another drink for him.

“Diego?” Klaus asked, cluing in that something was wrong.

Diego picked his new drink up and threw it back, swallowing half of it in one go. He hissed as he thumped the glass onto the bar, no doubt feeling the burn.

“Got kicked out,” he grunted, still not looking at Klaus.

“…Oh.”

Klaus glanced back at Ben with wide eyes, and Ben could only shrug, not knowing what to do any more than Klaus.

“Eudora broke up with me, too,” Diego continued, every word sounding like an effort to get out.

“Oh,” Klaus said again, this time with more empathy. Break ups Klaus could relate to.

“Fuck, I…” Diego shook his head, running a hand over his short-cropped hair and dragging it down his face.

Klaus fidgeted with his glass for a long moment, staring at it intently.

“Klaus?” Ben asked, wondering what was going through his head.

He hoped Klaus had some idea what to do, because Ben had nothing. He’d never been good at comforting post-break-up Klaus, and the idea of trying to comfort Diego made his non-existent skin itch.

Suddenly, Klaus downed the last of his drink and stood up.

“Come on,” he said, looking down at Diego expectantly.

“What?” Diego asked, looking up at him in confusion.

“Staying here and wallowing isn’t gonna do you any good. What you need is a good, ol’ fashioned night out. Go to a club, get completely shitfaced, dance like crazy, and maybe have hot, drunk sex with a stranger. That’s what I always do after a break up,” Klaus said with a grin.

“Isn’t that what you always do, period?” Diego asked unkindly.

Klaus’s grin faltered for a moment before solidifying again, a lot less genuine this time.

Regret flashed across Diego’s face briefly, but he didn’t try to apologize.

“Come on, Diego,” Klaus said, grin shrinking to something smaller. Something almost sweet.

Diego hesitated for a long moment, then stood. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few bills and dropped them on the bar.

“Well, let’s go,” he said gruffly, not quite able to meet Klaus’s eye.

Klaus grinned at him gleefully and grabbed ahold of Diego’s wrist, practically dragging him out of the bar.

Ben followed behind, a small smile of his own spread across his lips.

Klaus could be so _good_ sometimes. So genuinely sweet and caring that it made something warm and almost alive swell in his chest.

Sure, Klaus could be a callous dick, too, but most of the Hargreeves could be callous dicks, Ben included. But Klaus could be real sweet, when he wanted to be.

Hours later, and Klaus had followed through on his promise—he and Diego were well and thoroughly shitfaced. They’d danced for a long time, sometimes with other people but mostly with each other, Ben watching from the sidelines and enjoying the view for once.

He didn’t have to worry about Klaus half as much with Diego around.

Eventually, they stumbled out of the club, hanging off of each other and laughing at nothing and everything. Ben shook his head at their antics.

“C’mon,” Diego slurred, pulling Klaus with him. “’m close by.”

Klaus giggled, face smooshed against Diego’s chest.

“Veeeery close, big boy,” he said, still giggling and thumping Diego on the shoulder.

Diego laughed. “What’re you talkin’ bout?”

Instead of answering, however, Klaus just laughed again and Diego joined in.

 _God, they’re idiots_ , Ben thought fondly as Diego half carried Klaus down the street, assumedly in the direction of his apartment.

Ben raised his eyebrows when they arrived at a boxing gym instead of an apartment complex. Still, he followed as Diego unsteadily unlocked the side door—a feat that took several tries and a lot of cursing—and pulled himself and Klaus over the threshold. He closed and locked the door behind them.

Klaus didn’t even seem to notice that they were in a gym and not an apartment, just continuing to hang off of Diego and occasionally giggle.

Ben hung back as the two of them stumbled through the main room towards a door in the back, taking in Diego’s apparent place of residence. It was an older building with exposed brick and posters of old fights on the walls. There was an office on the other side of the room with windows on three walls, all of them covered with blinds at the moment. In the center of the room was a boxing ring, and weights, punching bags, and various other workout equipment took up the rest of the space.

Ben looked over the old fight posters, noticing one with Diego’s face on it. “Diego Hargreeves v. Manny Sanchez” the poster read, dating back two weeks ago.

Ben grinned. He’d bet anything that Diego had won that fight. He’d grown up sparring with Luther, who was bigger, faster, and stronger than your average human. And he’d even won at least a third of their spars. Against a regular person? Diego would almost certainly dominate.

When he finally pulled himself away, Diego and Klaus had disappeared. Ben wasn’t particularly concerned, taking his time walking through walls and empty rooms looking for his brothers.

He eventually made his way down into the basement, passing a boiler and storage room before he finally came to the last room. He phased through the closed door, taking in the low lighting and the small, makeshift apartment before the two figures in the middle of the room caught his eye and he froze.

Diego was hugging Klaus, his head buried against his shoulder and his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Klaus was murmuring something to him, running one hand over Diego’s hair over and over, while the other held onto Diego’s hip.

The heart Ben no longer had clenched in his chest. The sudden want, _need_ , to be held like that was almost overwhelming. He wanted Klaus to touch him like that, to hold him close, to pet his hair and whisper in his ear like he used to all those years ago. He wanted it so deeply, so viscerally, and so suddenly that he was almost dizzy with the feeling.

Death was strange. He still felt things dead people really had no business feeling anymore.

As he watched, Diego slowly pulled away from Klaus and the two looked at each other for a long, extended moment. Their faces were so close their noses almost touched, and something a lot like dread began to build in the back of Ben’s throat until Diego leaned forward and kissed Klaus.

Ben took an involuntary step forward, but stopped himself short of phasing through the railing around the raised platform he stood on. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Klaus kissed Diego back, and Ben could see how messy and inelegant it was. They were so drunk, Ben knew he should step in and tell Klaus to knock it off, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. It was like everything in the room, himself included, was frozen in anticipation, waiting to find out what would happen next.

Diego pulled away from the kiss with a gasp before ducking down to kiss Klaus’s neck. His hand dug into Klaus’s hair, pulling his head back to give himself better access. Klaus groaned, likely at the sting from having his hair pulled.

He’d always liked it when Ben did that.

Klaus submitted to Diego’s necking for several minutes before he grew impatient. He started pulling at Diego’s shirt, wiggling in Diego’s hold.

“Enough foreplay, come _on_ ,” he whined, reaching down and squeezing Diego through his pants.

Diego finally let go of Klaus’s neck, pressing his forehead into Klaus’s shoulder and groaning lowly.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, voice rough with arousal.

Ben had never heard Diego sound like that before. He blinked, noticing that he’d gotten closer to the pair at some point. He was only a few steps away now, close enough to see the sweat on Klaus’s forehead.

Diego dragged his hands off of Klaus slowly, taking a step back to strip off his shirt and throw it on the floor.

Klaus gleefully followed suit, stripping out of everything save his underwear with practiced ease despite his drunken state.

Diego racked his eyes over Klaus’s body, raising an eyebrow at Klaus’s hot pink leopard print briefs, but otherwise not commenting on them. Klaus, on the other hand, practically devoured Diego’s chest and stomach with his eyes, licking his lips in anticipation.

Klaus reached out first, pulling Diego back to him by his belt loops and kissing him deeply. Diego groaned into the kiss, hand roaming up and down Klaus’s back and over his hips, pressing his fingers into Klaus’s skin.

Klaus slowly began to shuffle backwards until the back of his legs hit Diego’s bed. He sat down, never breaking their kiss as he crawled backwards up the bed, Diego eagerly following.

They continued to kiss, hands exploring each other’s body, until they were both panting and hard. Klaus’s hands went to the front of Diego’s pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with deft fingers.

Diego pulled away from their kiss and roughly pushed his pants and underwear down to his knees. His cock and balls hung heavy between them, bobbing slightly with Diego’s movements.

Klaus groaned at the sight, reaching down and wrapping one hand around Diego’s cock, the other going further down to cup his balls. Diego’s breath hitched and he bit his lip, chin tucking into his chest and eyes glued to Klaus’s hands.

“Lube?” Klaus asked, voice rough and breathless.

Diego grunted and squeezed his eyes closed for a brief moment before nodding. He batted Klaus’s hands away and rolled off the bed, kicking his pants the rest of the way off as he walked towards a small chest of drawers.

Meanwhile, Klaus slipped off his briefs, tossing them off the bed, and took himself in hand, slowly stroking up and down his long, thin length. Ben watched as Klaus pulled his foreskin down and rubbed under the head of his cock, his non-existent throat going dry at the sight.

Klaus turned his head and looked back at Diego, who had stopped rummaging through his drawers and was now standing in the middle of his apartment, naked and aroused and staring at Klaus as he touched himself.

Klaus kept moving his hand, reaching down with his other to play with his balls, his legs spread wide and invitingly. Diego shuddered and took quick steps towards the bed. He tossed the bottle of lube and condom he’d grabbed onto the bed as he crawled back on top of Klaus, settling between his spread legs.

He pressed a demanding, biting kiss to Klaus’s lips, Klaus groaning and wrapping his hands around Diego’s broad shoulders. Diego’s hand searched the bed sheets until he grasped the bottle of lube. He pulled away from their kiss, both of their chests heaving, and pressed the bottle into Klaus’s hand.

Diego turned his head to look for the condom while Klaus wasted no time in popping the lube open and spreading some on his fingers. He reached down and pressed a finger inside himself with a quiet moan. He moved his finger, pushing a second in, and spread lube inside his ass and around his rim.

Diego, meanwhile, had found the condom and tore its wrapper open, rolling the rubber over his thick cock. Now, he was staring at Klaus’s fingers moving in and out of his body, lips parted as he panted. Klaus seemed to glow under the undivided attention, moaning louder and forcing his fingers deeper.

Ben knew how much Klaus liked putting on a show.

Eventually, Diego had enough of watching. He grabbed the lube from where Klaus had left it, squeezing a bit too much onto his hand which he then wrapped around his cock. He moved his hand up and down his shaft, spreading the lube from head to base, some of it dripping off his fingers and running down his balls.

Klaus pulled his fingers from his ass and grabbed the backs of his own thighs, spreading his legs even further. Diego groaned, a broken, desperate sound.

His eyes darted up to Klaus’s face and he seemed to briefly come out of his drunken, sex-crazed haze.

“You sure?” he asked hesitantly, the barest tremble to his voice.

Klaus threw his head back in frustration.

“If you don’t put your dick in me, I swear to _God_ , Diego, I will die and cockblock you from beyond the grave for the rest of your fucking life.”

Diego raised both eyebrows at that before huffing and rolling his eyes.

“Whatever, I was just trying to be gentlemanly,” Diego grumbled.

Klaus laughed, loud and jarring in the silence of the basement apartment.

“Yeah, cause it’s _so_ gentlemanly to fuck your brother.”

Diego froze for a moment before he looked at Klaus, anger, disgust, and fear marring his features.

“Don’t fucking call us that,” he snarled.

Klaus smirked, always seemingly happy to continue to push and prod where others would retreat. A trait that was especially pronounced whenever he was high, which was often.

“And what exactly am I supposed to call us?” he asked, tone almost mocking.

Diego growled in seeming frustration before grabbing ahold of Klaus’s thighs and pushing them back so far his knees almost touched the mattress. He was leaning over Klaus now, his cockhead resting at Klaus’s entrance but not pushing in. Klaus’s breath hitched at the change in position, hands reaching up to claw at Diego’s shoulders.

“We’re not brothers,” Diego insisted, face inches from Klaus’s.

“Maybe not,” Klaus responded breathlessly. “But we’re closer to brothers than friends.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before Diego deflated a bit, no longer pushing Klaus’s legs quite so far back.

“Whatever,” Diego mumbled.

Klaus opened his mouth to say something else, but he cut himself off with a groan as Diego suddenly started to push inside him.

“God, _finally_ ,” Klaus moaned.

“Shut up,” Diego grunted, moving in and out in small thrusts as he pushed deeper into Klaus.

Klaus panted and groaned when Diego finally bottomed out, hips pressed flush against him. Diego’s hands moved up and down Klaus’s thighs, the movement gentle and soothing.

After an extended moment, Klaus smirked.

“Make me,” he murmured.

“What?” Diego asked, confused.

“You told me to shut up,” Klaus said, pupils wide and hungry as he looked at Diego. “So, make me.”

Diego gave a short thrust, seemingly unable to stop himself. Slowly, he reached his hand out, the slightest tremble shaking his fingers as they wrapped around Klaus’s neck. He pressed down lightly, barely leaving an indent in Klaus’s skin, but it was enough to make Klaus moan.

“ _Yesss,”_ he hissed, rolling his hips against Diego’s.

Suddenly, Ben was torn out of the trance he’d fallen into, and he stumbled backwards. His very soul seemed to be shaking like a leaf.

He had to get out of there.

He scrambled up the stairs, ghostly steps not making a sound as he ran through the wall and kept going until he left the building entirely. He stood alone on the dark, silent street with only the buzzing of a nearby streetlamp to keep him grounded to reality.

_What the fuck was that?_

Ben shook his head, then again for good measure.

When Diego had pressed his hand to Klaus’s throat, something overwhelming had taken over Ben, shocking him out of the moment.

 _He_ used to do that to Klaus. He used to wrap his hand around Klaus’s throat and press down until Klaus could just barely breathe, until tears clumped his lashes together and his eyes begged Ben to let him cum.

Ben didn’t understand why he’d reacted like this, though. He’d seen Klaus have sex before. Hell, he’d seen him have rough and extremely kinky sex before, always sticking around out of a morbid sense of chivalry, despite not having the ability to intervene if things ever escalated.

But he’d never reacted like this. Never been frozen to the spot, hypnotized by the sight in front of him. He’d never felt the ghostly tendrils of memories so close to the surface, reminding him what it felt like to _touch_ and _be touched_.

And most of all, he’d never felt such all-consuming _jealousy_.

He wanted to do everything that Diego was doing to Klaus at that very moment. He burned with it, the want and jealousy. And he hated it more than anything because he could never, ever, have it. Not again.

He was dead and he’d never get to touch Klaus again, never get to have him in any real, tangible way. Sure, Klaus could see him. They could talk. But he could never hold him close again. Could never smell his hair or feel his breath against the back of his neck. Could never feel Klaus’s fingers moving over him, moving in him, could never feel his own fingers touching Klaus in the same way.

Never again. Because he was fucking dead.

Ben sighed deeply, the movement not offering any relief since he didn’t have lungs anymore. Still, he did it because it was better than the alternative.

Being dead fucking sucked.

Ben walked to the edge of the sidewalk and sat down on the ledge, elbows resting on his knees and head resting in his hands.

Sunrise couldn’t come fast enough.

\--

The sun had only just risen when Ben heard a door creak open behind him, followed by quiet cursing. Ben turned just as Klaus rounded the corner of the gym, squinting at the street.

His hair was all over the place, but his clothes weren’t inside out, so his hangover probably wasn’t _too_ bad.

Klaus’s eyes finally landed on Ben and his face split into a wide grin, making Ben’s stomach twist.

“Benny!”

Ben stood with a groan.

“I was wondering where you scampered off to,” Klaus said as he drew even with Ben. He clapped his hands together, looking up and down the street.

“So, what should we do for breakfast?”

Ben turned away, face twisting into something ugly as petty anger filled his chest.

“Diego didn’t feed you the morning after? That’s not very _gentlemanly_.”

“Um, wha- ah. Haha,” Klaus laughed awkwardly. “No, uh. That wasn’t. Um. That wasn’t really a… breakfast-after kind of… event.”

“…Oh,” Ben said quietly, suddenly feeling guilty for saying anything at all.

Klaus didn’t sound very happy about it not being a “breakfast-after” kind of event.

Ben glanced back at Klaus, who was looking back at the gym with a complicated expression.

“Wanna get waffles?” Ben asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

Klaus’s head jerked back towards Ben, a grin following close after. It looked slightly forced.

“Waffles! Great idea, Benny-boy,” Klaus announced, turning around and walking down the street.

Ben shook his head, but followed.

Fuck him, but he’d always follow that asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos extremely appreciated<3 i promise there will be a full sex scene in the last chapter lol

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos always very appreciated!!
> 
> you can also find me on tumblr as 246-hargreeves :)


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